​The world is a frightening place; Suicide bombs, nuclear tests, terrorists, and Donald Trump. To many people, the safest route to living is to climb behind figurative, and perhaps, literal walls. To seek shelter with their own “race”, “culture”, and “nationality.” To hide behind misguided and intolerant opinions of the varying cultures and people that inhabit this planet together. To protect their own way of life at the expense of others. What should we do? We actually live in the safest and longest living period for our species. We have grown our society to the point of instant and easy global communication. Every person in Canada, the USA, Europe, Kuwait, etc. has more chance to die the moment they drive or sit in a car then from a terrorist. Perhaps a slightly higher chance to die in that car in Kuwait. Therefore, this is a time period to live and live to the fullest. However, it is important to live these moments while practising compassion and hopefully creating tolerance and acceptance for the variety of peoples and cultures that exists on this planet. With this outlook we can hopefully lower, as eliminate would be a gross overstatement, the rampant intolerance in the world today. And perhaps lower the threat of Donald Trump and those like him, ISIS, and other people and institutions that promote or support intolerance for their own benefit.
                Intolerance is epidemic in the world today. At least 62% of what Donald Trump makes statements on is wrong. I mean wrong. (http://www.politifact.com/personalities/donald-trump/)
                I mean wrong in that there is actually prove. I can say the Toronto Maple Leafs won the Stanley Cup last year, but I would be wrong. Therefore, when Donald Trump shows a video of Mexicans raiding the southern border of the USA and it’s actually footage from Morocco we should know this. Or when he says Bernie Saunders will tax “you people” to 90 percent, he is wrong because Saunders primarily plans to tax the rich, not “you people.” Another 30 percent of what he says is mostly false or only half true. These items are perhaps more debatable, but we are still painting a rather skewed picture. Only 8 percent of what he says is mostly true or true. This sort of misinformation is practiced not only by Trump, but by terrorist groups, such as ISIS, who manipulate the Quran to religiously support their own ambition.
We live in an age where people have more information available to them on their smartphones then the US President did in 1998. However, people can still believe Donald Trump and others who speak lies. This is where the roots of intolerance lay; ignorance. Many people are highly ignorant and simply ignore the information available to them or simply do not have the skills to access and assess it. This is where the failure lies in education. The information available on the internet is vast, but also riddled with falsity.
The primary tool of education in a world so saturated with stimulation and information is to promote and teach critical thinking. This is where we are presently failing. I do not care if my students can remember Romeo and Juliet’s plot or can tell me all the details of a WWII battle. I care that they can read or listen to something and judge the validity of the information and the bias of the source and not simply accept it as fact. I want them to be critical of what I say as well.
This article should be judged. But judged fairly. Discounting my arguments by attacking me personal does not disrupt what I am saying. Calling me any sort of name does not help your cause. It just makes you look foolish. I have bias. Everyone has bias. I am a teacher. I live in Kuwait. I have lived in China. I am Canadian. I am half-German. I was raised in a small town community location on a large, but slow paced island. My parents are divorced. All of these and every moment up to this one in my life taint slightly my world views and consequently how I construct this argument. I have tried to eliminate the bias and therefore, it is your job, as the reader, to see if I have done so successfully. If any arguments I make are overly distorted, it is your job to find the holes in the logic and discount it. Education today must promote critical thinking to limit ignorance in society.
                However, many people are past the point of schooling. That does not mean that anyone cannot practice compassion, eliminate ignorance, and create a tolerant world. It can be done simply by trying on a day to day basis to put yourself in the shoes or bare feet of others. The first thing that needs to be accepted in this process is that all human lives are equal. If you value the life of the child in your neighbourhood more than any other, the purpose of the exercise is lost.
                The people of the world are in essence the same. Yes there are vastly different cultures. Each one can be critiqued heavily. For example, Western culture with its materialistic and superficial decadence, combined with excessive sexualisation of culture. Any other culture from larger definitions to individual countries have the negative and positive aspects. They are however equal and the people within them want similar life goals.
Firstly, they want to live. They want to eat. It sounds simple, but many people are not guaranteed these things. Therefore, when my initial reaction to the almost false niceness of Thai people was to say that they were not friendly, I was being highly unfair. If the tuk-tuk driver with a wife and three kids at home does not want to waste one minute of his work day giving me free directions, once he realizes I am not buying anything, that is not him being rude, or “not nice,” he said goodbye, but simply practical. There were at least 10 other tourist walking by in that minute, why should he sacrifice much needed money for his family to be friendly to me. In China they still eat dog. Oh my, how terrible, what a primitive society (insert sarcasm sign if it is not obvious). China is a rapidly growing country and the Communist party, for their many faults, has dragged China and life quality rapidly forward. That being said there population is still mostly poor. Many families have a choice. Eat cheap dog meat or eat no meat and perhaps do not eat at all. Yes it has developed into a delicacy eaten by those who can afford to eat other things, but is breeding and eating dogs really that much different then cows, sheep, pigs, horses, chickens, camels, pigeons, turkey, etc.? Be careful not to judge people who often have more base motivations.
Secondly, people around the world want safety for their friends and family. Yes, some people do not marry and/or do not have kids. Most people want to love and be loved and grow up knowing safety is possible. My Chinese boys, my Kuwaiti, my other Arab boys, and my Canadian boys spray/pour on equally copious amounts of Ax to try and allure their hearts desire. I want to get married. Perhaps to an Irish Princess, Maybe German. Who knows? I want to have a kid(s). I want to stay in touch with my family and grow up living in safety and constant communication with friends and family. I want to die having never seen my children in harm’s way. Safe, happy, and full. I want to live vicariously through them. After all, we need one professional in the family. I want my older relatives to live long and full as well. I want to be able to travel and visit places of the world. I want to sit with my friends and discuss this life we have. Everywhere I have been those goals are constant. I always see families and friends. Loving and laughing whether rich or poor. Young or old. In some places this is not possible. Should you condemn a Syrian family to death, because of ignorance and fear? We need to nurture the world spread wealth and love and help people achieve these goals.
 In Sri Lanka, the caretakers of my jungle house, were sweet, friendly, and family orientated. They told me about some of their struggles and how much our business means to them. When I left he gave me his Sri Lankan number to call him directly if I come back, to circumvent the absentee landlord. Naturally, a Sri Lankan phone number is not particularly useful in arranging accommodations prior to arrival. I asked about email. He told me that him and his sweet 11 year old daughter, were working on getting email soon. His cell phone, after all, has less functions then my first one in 2005. They just need the business and want nothing more than to be a healthy and fed family. Everyone should be so lucky.
If you can accept this notion that everyone is equal practicing compassion is easy. However, it still requires a next essential step; avoiding beliefs. Regardless of what you believe is coming after, we are all here now and we all might as well enjoy it. If other people’s beliefs differ from your own, if it does not affect you, it does not matter. It is also clear to me that all religions focus of the same core principals. They all promote the golden rule of treat others how you wish to be treated, speaking the truth, doing no harm, forgiveness, etc. A Christian, an Arab, a Jew, a Buddhist all are guided by their spiritual beliefs towards common principals. Yes, there are significantly different implications. However, if they worship in back to back to back to back, Church, Mosque, Synagogue, and temple they can all eat at the same place. It does not affect the other. As long as everyone is free to their beliefs it does not affect you. If a gay couple gets married, it does not change anything for anyone else.
The final step for practicing compassion is to recognize the difference in life experiences. Every person on the planet has their own story. That story has made them who they are. Our experiences constantly change us regardless of whether you do not think about it, or are critically aware. Therefore, it is important to recognize that people have had different experiences and influences then you.
 I had a student say “Donald Trump looks like a Jew” (Insert super negative tone). I do not accept these kind of statements, regardless of the risks, and asked “what does that mean?” This resulted in a discussion. As this student was one of my same students who is extremely critical of ISIS and how it misrepresents Muslims to the world. We tied this discussion back to the negative stereotypes and images that are associated with Muslims. It ultimately came down to is you using “Jew” in a negative fashion any worse than anyone else using “Arab”, “Slav”, or “Gypsy” in a negative way? And if it is not you should either stop saying it or stop complaining about negative Arab stereotypes. Suffice to say this student left looking rather dazed. Thinking about it after, I perhaps was rather insensitive. This student was raised in an Arab culture. They were likely raised by parents that use Jew in a derogatory fashion. There are thousands of aspects that have shaped her to say the phrase. Therefore, whether it is an Arab student who does not like to pick up garbage, because the Nanny has always done it, a Chinese student who stubbornly insists that Taiwan is part of China and China should go to war for it, or a Canadian student who complains about how Frist Nations live tax free, they have been shaped by every aspect of their life and it is important to see their view and compassionately address it.
Try. If all two readers, ten, or somewhere in between follow these steps at least a few people might change. When you live day to day try and avoid ignorance. Challenge what you read and hear. Research the information and judge it for yourself. Everyone is blessed with a fascinating brain (some more so than others). By avoiding ignorance you can practice compassion by seeing people fairly and understanding their motivations in the world. Challenge people when they make blanket statements and generalizations. Create tolerance. Only with compassion and tolerance can we make an already peaceful and relatively safe period of human history even more enjoyable. Perhaps all the peoples of the world can live, love, and laugh like I plan to do. After all, as my Nana said after visiting my classroom in Kuwait, “Those teenagers and that classroom could be located anywhere in Canada and probably the world.” 

I must apologize again for the length between blogs. It really is hard to find the time!

            Firstly, I missed two things in my last blog. I never did mention the wonders and yet peculiar feelings associated with having a cleaning lady. It only costs 30 Qui an hour to have your apartment cleaned. That is barely 6 dollars to have someone scrub and do the worst jobs imaginable. I decided to take this option up somewhat reluctantly. I am a pretty good surface cleaner and, as my mom in particular knows, leave dishes in my sink at your peril. That being said who really likes scrubbing the toilet? It also didn’t help that when I moved in it was quite clear that the dust accumulation under and behind my bed was at least a year in length. I did not want to deal with that. Therefore, I took the option of hiring a cleaning lady through the schools apartment managers (He insisted that even if you live off campus, go to him for reliability). Two hours of cleaning. Dust all gone. Floors all scrubbed. Bathroom shiny. Getting her to do this was rather difficult as I had to explain exactly what was needed. I should also note that you have to have the supplies for her. The other area of difficulty was time. I asked her to come over at 7. This way I could go out after finishing my dinner at home and walk. Well she showed up early (a women of my own heart)! That being said in this case I had just put dinner on a plate and was wrapped in a towel from the shower I just had. I managed to dodge these particular problems and scarf my dinner down. I then tried to figure out when she would be done. We managed to communicate by pointing at a clock and it appeared she said eight. I go for a walk and come back. There was some miscommunication and I sat on the couch and watched her clean for 45 minutes. Awkward and uncomfortable. What made this issue worse was that how was I supposed to ask her when she would be done? It was during this time I contemplated getting a cleaning lady again. I have decided on yes. Mostly, because her cheap pay is what it is. If I do not hire her she will not get paid any more, she will simply have less work. She is also putting two kids through college. Not a bad motivator.

            The other thing I left out of my previous blog was locking my keys in my apartment. Dam doors that lock automatically! I have since done this again. The second time was not a problem as I gave my spare key to a reliable source. The first time really wasn’t much of a problem as my landlord who I had Grace call arrived within ten minutes to let me in. He continues to be a very reliable figure!

            School is continuing to go well. It is very busy, but I am enjoying it so far. My classes need some work and there are definitely several students who understand far less then half of what I say. That complicates things greatly. The Model UN that I am one of the sponsor teachers has started up and it looks like it is going to be a good year. I will be going to one of the conferences in Qingdao in March. I unfortunately lost the heated coin flip to go to Korea. However, it is an awesome club to be involved with and Qingdao will have more students attending and will make for a great experience.

            The last two weekends have seen a few events. Last weekend we had our staff introduction party on Friday night. This event just continued to demonstrate how unlike any other professional work environment this place is like. It is rather funny and nice. When your boss is walking around with a pint in one hand and a stogie in his mouth… The tone is set. For the staff party we went to the grand reopening of a bar called The Anchorage in five colour city. Their was a free buffet so we did not go there initially as it was too crowded. However, instead we ordered food from Eurobake and had it delivered to Mr. Beer next door. This was quite a wonderful set up. My BBQ Chicken burger was just what I needed and import German beer made everyone happy. Perhaps some a little too much. We did eventually make our way to the Anchorage where there was live music and a really nice atmosphere.

            One rather humorous aspect of the visit to this bar was this British man I encountered. I had just finished playing (and winning) some Foosball when I saw a friend of mine, who has a tendency to talk to random men and get stuck there chatting up these other expats. I headed over to say hello. It seemed like a rather interesting, granted shouted, conversation. I asked this older British man why he was in China. He leaned over in a conspiratorial manner, “the women.” I managed to keep my jaw on my face. It was not altogether unsurprising for this chubby and balding man to be desperate for women and in China for it. That being said it is not the type of revelation I am used to hearing in thirty seconds. He then proceeded to tell me that it was all about women and money and he already had money. Sounds like a world-class humanitarian. He then asked me if I was dating my friend. I said no. He said good there are way better and more local girls available. This is when I proceeded to extricate myself from the conversation. It really is amazing how many older white men and younger Chinese women you see in Five Colour city in particular.

            This weekend, last night to be specific, a group of us went to watch Dalian Aerbin. They are the local team that plays in China’s top professional league. It was a Thunder and Lightning storm. It was not ideal watching conditions, but the fans that where there were hilarious. Much like Europe. They spent more time watching the crowd pumping it up then the game. Due to the weather and some Taxi difficulties we arrived 30 minutes late. Rather soaked from the torrential down pour. The stadium seats 60,000, but due to the weather there were maybe 5,000 in attendance. Dalian was already losing 2-0 when I sat down and the final score would end up being 3-1. The soccer was an okay quality, but between the fans, the lightning in the sky, and of course the football it was a worthy and fun experience. Well I should add a bit of a food update. It just wouldn't be something written by me if I didn't talk about food. Firstly, I am addicted to these bean, coconut, whatever buns. It is basically a sweet bread. Kind of wrapped in the manner of a cinnamon bun, except it is taller and less obvious. It is shaped like a stereotypical chef’s hat. It has like a very thin lair of a white cream on the top and red sweet beans. Inside it has the sweet cream wrapped in the lairs. I love them. I now pay attention to when they are baked fresh haha. My go to place continues to be clutch. They know who I am and immediately bring me the menu with my favourite salad. I have discovered how to eat out really healthy here and have shed the few pounds I had added since being here and then some. Simply from ordering plates of just vegetables and meat. I eat so many carbs at home for breakfast and dinner it balances out nicely. The bok choy is great here. I also tried the fungus they put into stir fries this week and quite enjoyed it. Odd texture, but very tasty.  
            I should be off! Another busy week of teaching awaits and then it is off to Hohhot for my fall break. This week also has our live 20 person fantasy hockey draft. This is being done together at an all you can eat restaurant. Good times!

Cheers. 

I’m back!

            What can I say? School has started and taking the time to write a blog can be very difficult. To be honest I have spent an average of maybe 2 hours in my apartment, awake, the past ten days.

            With that being said it is not as if I am crazy busy with work. The daily routine is just long and I fill my evenings with fitness, meals out, and walks around the area. I have been arriving at school around 6:45 and usually leave around 4:45. That being said I come home for my lunch and have a fair amount of break time. The biggest difference from my teaching schedule last year is I have, so far, done my marking at school. I have also managed to plan the next few weeks, to our fall break, and I have a week of photocopying done in advance so it is a rather stress free environment at the moment.

            However, the Maple Leaf machine itself is a rather hilarious entity. The first day was an absolute… gong show. Basically, the first week usually fifty percent of the classes end up changed anyways. In this case it was made worse because they handed out incorrect schedules on Sunday night. Attendance on Monday was spotty to say the least. 5, 12, 8. All solid class sizes. Christy Clark would be appalled. This attendance issues did not immediately clear up and is only really just now starting to simmer down. As I have now had the same kids all three days this week in my SS 10 classes.

            The next fun adventure for me. My ghost class! The English 10 blocks were looking fun and I was asked to teach an English ten to fill my fourth, currently open, slot. We agreed I would start the second Monday. I prepped the week and planned the next two. I check my attendance Monday, no students. Hence the ghost class. Well I learned one lesson in week one. If it is not a catastrophic problem that you have noticed or something more simple like two classes in the same room, do not say anything. It simply results in more work for you. That is what I discovered in week one when covering some classes during my prep blocks. Just shut your mouth Karl. If they need you they’ll ask. If you present yourself you will be used.

            Student names. Where to begin? Well I should start by bringing up Law. That’s right Law is B.A. and the best part is he actually knows what it means. Bubble-gum, yes that is his English name, is a great kid, but eventually someone is going to have to fix that. Clark’s, Mike\s, Henry’s, and Patrick’s all very common. Gem and Reborn are two boys in my grade 12 homeroom. They do not even have the excuse of being in grade 10. My best name related story so far has to do with a name change. One of my two Harry’s says to me this Monday, ‘I change my name.” “O that’s cool, what is it now?” “Warlock.”                            “I’m sorry what.” “W, A, R, L, O, C, K. Warlock.” “Oh that’s awesome.” Interesting change of name! Caught me a little off guard. Granted one of those great things of teaching is that I can now hear pretty much anything and keep a straight face and at the very least reply with, “Oh, that is interesting…” The name is pretty cool, but he failed to pick up on several magic related puns today. “So its Warlock’s groups turn to share let see if they have any magic in there proposal.” Yes. This is one of the little things I enjoy in my day. Puns.

            My students generally just call me teacher, I do not mind. I know one new teacher who will stop kids in the hall who say “Hello, teacher!” and make them call him sir or Mr… Pick your battles. Not to mention they are genuinely saying hello and in Chinese they just call teachers… teacher. Granted this fellow is also the one I have heard preaching over wanted to be called “doctor” one day. I think someone’s ego clearly needs some stroking. That or some small other thing isn’t getting enough of it.

            I will say a couple other things about school. The boy’s campus really is dirty and man do the boys smell. The Maple Leaf School song may just cause me to take crazy pills by the end of the year. Especially if my latte is foamy (Name that movie). I am actually drinking some coffee now. Who would have thought China, where there is minimal coffee, would turn me into a coffee drinker along with my tea.

            My co-workers are great. My department head Sheryl is unreal. She gets stuff done and is just a really nice individual to be around. In general the boys SS department is the place to be. Our office is called the dungeon, for many good reasons, but the people in it certainly brighten it up. Compared to the Girls SS department I certainly am winning. Not that there is anything wrong with the other side, just does not have the same fun, relaxed, and productive dynamic. It is an easy group to switch from talking about teaching, to making inappropriate jokes, to talking about sports, and then back to school. What other office could a student walk into with three teachers humming and slightly singing “I’m just a regular everyday normal guy,” or “America Fuck ya.”

            I have not talked much about China live so I will switch to sate my rabid readers (all 5 to 10?). My apartment is awesome. I am so happy here. It is easily the nicest place I have lived in since moving out. It really does feel like home and separates me from the campus, which my school apartment did not. It is great to not have to walk in the school gate to go home. With that being said it is a ten minute walk from my apartment door to my office. That makes trips home for lunch time convenient. It’s also great as I have claimed a spot for my bike in the lobby. That’s sort of how many things work here, claim the space and it is yours. This really does apply on roads. Even as a cyclist, if you take the space it is yours cars will go around you. Even if you are crowding the lane. So I just put my bike in the lobby no one moves it. It has become mine!

            I am eating dinner out most days. This is unusual for me. I do like cooking and actually did make a delicious vegetable medley tonight in my mini oven. However, it is generally cheaper to eat out and by the time I get home and back from the gym it is usually 6:30. The amount and variety of places to eat makes it hard to cook something at that point. Not to mention if you are careful it is reasonable easy to eat a half decent stir fry of some kind. I have a go to place for a salad and some other dish that really hits the spot. There is also this one place with candied sweet potatoes. They are cooked in honey. To. Die. For. So it is different than at home, but it is just so easy.

            Other general tidbits about China. We just had Autumn Day. Which has some really cool history involving mooncakes. I was given about ten of them by students. Not a big fan… The regular ones are solid. They are filled with Red Bean Paste, but some of the fruity varieties were awful. The history relates to secret messages being past in the moon cakes during a rebellion! Pretty amazing history in China. If you want to know why China is the way it is… Well you can’t. Read over 2,000 years of history and it is still confusing, but it can certainly make you see how deeply engrained their culture is.

            Last weekend I had two feasts! Friday we had our SS department BBQ. That was a lovely time and I thoroughly enjoyed the Chicken burgers! Sunday Kelli, my awesome tour guide from the start of summer school, hosted some people for a delicious Greek Style dinner. It was fantastic. However, it was partly for sad reasons. As one of my new good friends, Aliki, had a tragic family death back in Greece. This dinner was Kelli’s way of helping Aliki through a difficult time.

            The last bit of news! I am going to go to Hohhot in Inner Mongolia, China for fall break. The trip would be September 28th to October 4th. I will give more details as they surface.

            China has certainly been a good experience and has already made me ponder the future. Teaching internationally is just such an awesome opportunity. Whether I stay here next year or move on to another country it is just so fascinating. There is also the future opportunities to explore a master’s degree somewhere such as Berlin or Munich! Either way I am far from done this type of experience.

            The biggest realization I have had here is that things are really good for me. Yes I have a sizable student loan, but if I keep working places like here it will be gone in 4 to 5 years. I can easily be under 30 debt free and with a career that allows me to work wherever I feel like. To be honest the only thing I need at this point is my better half (that statement does not mean I am bringing home a Chinese wife). When I was in high school I always thought I would be married by 25 (I know… wtf was I thinking), but now that I am 25 it is definitely the next step and one I am ready for. My sister is a great example in this regard (yes I called you a great example) she has settled into a great relationship and is starting what is sure to be a lovely family. Briefly meeting my nephew certainly creates a whole new level of passionate feelings and certainly shows one thing in life that is probably worth striving for over most if not all others. Family.

Until the next time!

It is getting harder to take time to write this blog! There is just so much keeping me busy that finding the time to put in an acceptable effort is difficult. That being said it has been another rather eventful week in China.

            I will start with the rather sad, but nonetheless expected departure of Tyler yesterday for Canada. It is too bad that he did not suddenly decided to stay, but the Maple Leaf machine rolls on. I will always have Aliki from summer school…large sigh. That being said the new teachers continue to be pretty good as they are mostly great. That being said the ball hockey game we had on Wednesday pretty much created some solid judgements on people. Some of you are probably thinking: Wait, you judge an entire person based on ball hockey? Well yes… sometimes. The one guy who wouldn’t change the whole time. Not the first two games when we won both times 5-0 or when I unfortunately had to deal with him on my team. He not only won’t change, but he ignores the calls to go off, is super lazy, and doesn’t play defence. The stupid smirk on his face most of the rest of the day pretty much sums it up anyways. Harsh judgement, but I mean certain characteristics, likes being inconsiderate, lazy, arrogant, and just a good old fashion D, just really come out in ball hockey. That being said everyone else who played was great and confirmed my opinions of them generally. Especially the two goalies who sucked it up in 100 percent humidity at over 30 degrees.

            That was a relatively unrelated to China tangent, but I am curious who else has weird scenario’s in which they possibly unfairly judge people. If you do feel free to comment on it.

            This past week I was sworn into the Maple Leaf cult. Yes! All the new teachers had to go on stage and raise our right fist swear an oath and sign a board. It was ridiculously formal and Chinese. It was all done in front of the Maple Leaf Schools money maker Sherman Jen. After our oath Sherminator proceeded to give a 90 minute speech. This is basically is once annual address on the state of Maple Leaf. It was called the annual report and it had all the goals and adjustments for the future. This is where it gets hilariously communist. We are in year four of the fourth five year plan. Yes… five year plans. They actually still use that term still. Joseph Stalin still reaches from the grave! In this case it isn’t collectivization and the systematic starvation of Ukrainian peasants, but rather big numbers and lofty student numbers for a school. In another truly communist manner these goals are big and large and quantity over quality is the overriding factor. The next five year plan sounded fantastic! I mean Sherman by building more schools and having the teachers work harder that is magically going to make all these students speak English right? As much as Sherman critiqued the teachers and administrators, mostly the administrators, it really was just communist style waving. If these five year plan goals are not met, they will just make new ridiculous goals that won’t be met. Sherman won’t really be angry until the money stops. After his speech we got to witness the best Q and A section of all time.

“We will not have fifteen minutes for questions…” awkward pause “if there is any.” Sherman’s translator.

Bam! What is this? (A centre for ants?) Well actually a planted question or say four. The best part was watching the translator pull out the scripted response. It was all a rather funny ceremony that was nonetheless enjoyable because I was able to wear my suit again.

Other than that this week has been dedicated to Pro-D. Some has been beneficial, but some of it has simply been painful. There was a moment there where a sharing circle was forming and I had teacher college flashbacks. It has also been a chaotic week for planning as basically no one knows what courses they are teaching yet. At the moment I am teaching three blocks of SS 10 and one mystery block and my prep. We will see what happens to my mystery block, but hopefully it becomes a success room block. It was funny to learn that the department heads basically have a fantasy draft for staff. My English 10 block was removed after my department head fought to get me fully in the SS department. Rather amusing, but I still wish my schedule was finalized. Thankfully, after much work and stapling my first two weeks for SS are prepped and printed. Monday here we come.

It is also how funny it is here! I almost feel experienced! There are so many teachers fresh out of teachers college it is almost rather hilarious. I was never one to ask ridiculous questions, but definitely asked a lot. I know Mr. Murray considered my planning to be far too existent last. But yes some of the fresh faces here are making me feel like a savvy vet. I also learned today I could probably be a SS department head next year. Unwanted and terrifying. My current department head is awesome, she did so much work to make it a smooth start, but the deputy head, who is also a super nice guy, is simply place holding it for the time being.  

Four of us went to Dalian last weekend. It was a fun day trip. Granted some pre-planning could have taken us a long way. Two of them were looking for the supposed real apple store in Dalian. Well it turns out is does not exist! We were very politely led to 6 or 7 apple reseller stores, many of which, if not most, definitely have fake Apple products. The trip brings up my one big set of travelling in a foreign country advice. AT ALL TIMES ASSUME ONE PERSON CAN SPEAK ENGLISH WITHIN HEARING, BUT EXPECT THAT NO ONE SPEAKS ENGLISH. This way you do not walk around talking loudly and potentially say something disrespectful, etc. that is understood. While at the same time you do not fall into the trap of getting upset when no one speaks English for you. This sort of happened to one of us. There was a little “tourist information” both which did actually have that written in English. Naturally, no one in their spoke English. The sign was also in Russian, Korean, and Chinese. I can guarantee the only language in there was Chinese. Dalian is a huge city by Canadian standards, around three million, but by Chinese standards it is average. It is also not a highly important one. This further decreases the odds of English. When it became clear that they did not speak English at this tourist booth my one friend kind of had a mini freak out moment of frustration. Luckily I calmed her down with that phrase above and this simple point: How many tourist information booths in Canada could a Chinese person enter speaking Mandarin and using hand gestures get what they want? Not many. We are in f****** China. It is not there job to cater to us. We/anyone travelling anywhere has to figure it out. Still it was a fun day and we did get graciously led to 6 reselling stores!

I need to be off. Hope all is well. Again I am just curious who is actually reading this so I am going to ask for something. Could you please tell me which parts, of all the blogs, you have most enjoyed and what if anything I should write more about?

Cheers 

Okay! It has been an eventful week and oh so much I could talk about. I will start with the final hurrah of summer school. No one failed… the course! Nine out of 25 failed the final, which was pretty much par the course. My class finished with a 65% average, with the GPA dropping four percent during the final. Take away those translators and no amount of work ethic can change the fact that you can write the word “penis” as a mistake for “pen is” and not giggle. That being said they are great kids and they passed. I was happy to take a group shot with them on the final day. They really are willing and eager to learn and I was surprised to see how much debate there was over following rules. They are certainly aware of the sometimes stifling nature of China. I think from a western perspective there is nothing to fear from China if the younger generations continue to have some more open education. They want the same things kids here want and that certainly doesn’t include apocalyptic, world domination war.

The final week was not without one major hurdle. One of the other English 11 teachers accidently gave out the final exam as a practice to their class. Like seriously how do you do that! Read the lesson plans that were made for you. Anyways this resulted in a Wednesday night emergency meeting as we scrambled to have a new exam for Thursday morning. It all worked out as an amazing colleague of mine stepped up and wrote the whole exam herself as we agreed too many cooks in the kitchen would have spoiled the soup. But seriously how do you do that? Sorry I am not over it.

The only final awkward moment of class were the students asking for individual pictures and asking if I would be around all year. Nice, but horribly awkward! I am glad to have my minimal separation living off campus.

The next thing to talk about is the new staff! They arrived last weekend and they are a nice group of people. You really can feel the Maple Leaf team atmosphere. It is also nice that the relatively quick staff rotation here, three or four years, leads to a young staff, but also opportunity to advance. There are several veterans of eight and higher years that man the ship, but it does not feel like every other school I have been in where there are established veterans that control every department. That is not a critique to previous locations just the reality of people teaching together for over ten years with little staff change. I have made a few new friends and expect to be kept busy this year. I already graduate from newbie to tour guide and surprised several of them when they learned I had only been here for the summer school program.

There arrival also spurred my house hunting. They have a staff apartment shortage this year. Therefore, more teachers then normal are being put on the dreaded boy’s campus staff housing. Some of these are apparently quite derelict. This resulted in a series of people bombarding me for information on my apartment hunt and asking to help me move. That is of course assuming they moved in as I went out.

My apartment search was easy in the end. I looked at three places. All in an apartment complex basically right beside the school. I am used to not commuting and will not start here. Despite being about the same distance now from the girl’s campus school as my on girl’s campus residence was. The separation is great. I do not feel that I am still at school. My search was added by the arrival of Grace! A friend from my UVIC education program, who also brought me two jars of Adam’s peanut butter (I could have almost made her a deity in that moment), speaks Mandarin. Therefore, she was able to come arrange, come along and interpret during these apartment trips. She is also moving off campus and was able to get information for herself as well.

I went with the tacky apartment with the purple couch. I saw it first and the other options I considered were not beating the giant couch and bathroom this place offered. It is not like I am someone who would normally pine for a nice bathroom, but the ability to stand up in the shower is nice. A place to put drying laundry is also a plus!

The apartment process is fun! You can actually negotiate here. The places furnished so you can ask to get new furniture, upgrade, etc. Through Grace I was able to lower the damage deposit to 2000 qui, from 3000, that is about 325 CAD. I was also able to get a new water cooler! I wanted a desk, but Ikea may have to save the day there. I like my landlord, he showed up to our first meeting and showing shirtless. Priceless. That being said when we signed the lease he was looking quite stylish. There is a lease, thankfully Grace can read!

In China it is common practice to pay a year’s rent in advance. We negotiated down to six months’ rent. The rent is 1700 Yuan, so just over 300 CAD. I have to pay 2500 CAD to pay for 6 months’ rent, a year’s internet, water, and condo fees. I will eventually have to pay 1800 more for the remaining rent, but still ridiculously cheap! I almost forgot the best part. The bathroom has a giant window that looks into the bedroom. I can see from the shower to my bed. It is super creepy, but was in all the apartment’s I looked at. Hello China!

I need to get out of here! So I will give one last update. KTV!! That is karaoke. Basically you get a group of people and depending on the size of the group you will get a room to match. The room has crazy lights and you can basically have your own private party. Twelve of us went last weekend and it cost only 12 CAD each to rent a room for the night that includes 36 beers between us and snacks. I personally did not get my value from the drinks, but a few people did. My stunning rendition of “I want it that way” also got the party started. Who said I can’t sing or dance? ;) Well actually I think it may have induced people to drink the beers.

KTV is everywhere here and is really fun I look forward to trying it again.

I must be off. Cheers. 

            Hello! As I am settling in to living in China there are less novelties to go off on. That being said there are a few things to discuss from the previous week!

            Firstly, the Leg of Lamb “restaurant” in Kaifaqu lived up to the lofty expectations. The place really does look like hole in the wall and that is by China standards. However, it was some of the best food I have had in China. I am biased towards lamb though. Our large group was situated on a long table outside in front of the restaurant. The tables have holes in the middle, where they can place a miniature coal grill. On this grill they place a, mostly cooked, lamb leg. The people around each leg, we had about 7 or 8 legs for our group. I was fortunate enough to be sitting right in front of one. Being right beside the lamb means you get to cut pieces off and place them on the grill below to sizzle a little more. The further you cut into the lamb the more this is necessary as the meat becomes raw. The side dishes were generally quite good as well. Their attempts at potato salad and veggies were awful, but hey the lambs the go to option. That being said they made miniature cornbread like patties and had these slightly sweet grilled bread balls that our quite prominent here and very delicious. There was no shortage of food and most of us ate to a sickening degree! Well to a food hangover Saturday level.

            The restaurant visit did not go by without some celebrity like action. One of the other new teachers Aliki was subjected to several pictures from the restaurant staff, which she graciously agreed to. However, once it began more people began to ask and eventually an innocent enough old man joined the line. He was not satisfied with just a picture and went in for a kiss and a marginal ass grab. That was about the time we decided to leave haha! Granted the man was not part of the restaurant, but still it was time to leave.

            From there a group of five of us taxied to five colour city in Kaifaqu. This is a large stretch of bars and restaurants, mostly expat bars. My favourites included the Nagging Wife or simply The Bar. We explored a bit and sat outside one of these bars, before catching the 80 Qui, 15 dollar taxi, 25 minutes to Jinshitan. Split three ways it will make any taxi in Canada seem ridiculous. The visiting in Kaifaqu did not end there as a small group of us returned on Sunday. A Maple Leaf veteran of three years led us to a place called Euro Bake. Here I was able to purchase a real fruit smoothie and eggs benedict for breakfast. The benny was fabulous by any standards and having missed fruit smoothies I was in a blissful state. It was expensive by Chinese standards, but still just under 12 dollars. We followed this up by making a Chinese Walmart run and a visit to Tesco. Firstly, Kaifaqu is much more insane then were I usually am in China and is still nowhere near the real “big” cities in China. Walmart in China, is nothing like Walmart in Canada. It is entirely Chinese, which is too be expected. It is unlike Metro, Ikea, or Tesco, which keep their products rather uniform to anywhere else. That being said I was able to make some quality purchases. Starting with generic peanut butter! It is like bad sugary peanut butter. Since I do not like sugary peanut butter in the first place I am not a fan. I was also able to find flour, delicious cans of almond milk that I believe is unsweetened. I have also converted to drinking Chinese milk. With the help of my students and nutritional labels I have figured out the % of one brands different colours. Pink milk is skimmed. Purple is 1.5ish. Blue and Green are somewhere above 3. Unfortunately, no one drinks the pink in 1 litre containers, so I had to by a box with 24 250ml containers. Fortunately, that is the perfect amount for my morning cereal! It does mean I will have an excess of straws. I also bought some Chinese oatmeal. They have a surprising large amount of oatmeal here. Oatmeal is oatmeal so I am assuming that will be okay.

            I will be buying a bike soon! I am looking at 500 qui options or perhaps a more expensive bike then can fold in half. It is needed, because they are no longer letting us out the back hole in the campus wall. This means what should be a 200 metre walk to the gym, coffee place, and the potential gorgeous houses is now a 15 minute walk. I have regularized a gym schedule around my two 3 hour lunch days, Tuesday and Wednesday and the weekend. It is rather nice. The amount of walking you do here results in a very minimal need of extra cardio. I easily walked up a total of 50 stories of stairs on Wednesday.

            On another note, I was slightly mistaken on expiry dates. In Chinese most of the date son packages are production dates. This means the expiration is a matter of mystery in most cases. However, at least with peanut butter they have a 15 month shelf live, Therefore, I was also able to return to the local market and buy Chinese peanut butter. The brand I choose is pretty mediocre, but I prefer it to the Walmart generic. It tastes more like bad natural peanut butter. However, while at Walmart I bought Heinz ketchup with a clear expiration date of 2015! No more ketchup poisoning.

            I have two final things to discuss unrelated to specifics in China. Firstly, the notion of cultural superiority. One thing I have noticed is the tendency for some of the people who have come here to look down on things. They just can’t get over it. I was offered good advice the other day, “Do not try and bring the West here.” This is China and things that happen here are what happen here. They are not better or worse, but simply different. To many non-Canadians the idea of owning a house and large amounts of property is absurd. Or the notion of going to a gym to get exercise. Most Chinese people work longer hours in physical jobs, who needs to work out. So everyone who drives here honks 50 times an hour. The sound of a man loading up a giant spit happens every 10 seconds on the street. The sound of fireworks is so common that real bombs could be going off and I would not even glance. Things are done differently here and it is fascinating and amazing and if you can accept that and simply adjust your life into that set up. It is a fun adventure.

            That being said one thing I do have a slight bone to pick is with Canadian attitudes. Maybe the recent strike has increased my bitterness. The respect level from younger generations to older generations and careers, like teachers, is different. It is better. My students and people here respect teachers and elders. It is not a marginalized position. I am thanked for coming here and teaching. Moreover, the students… yes the students… although they do try and cheat fairly regularly (happens at home as well), but the kid who cares the least in my class, would have been top 5 in any class I taught at home. They want to learn (well get a good grade, maybe not learn) and they want to succeed. They also hand everything in. The notion of not handing something in is absurd. In Canada I have to plead, bag, threaten, and I get maybe 75% of my assignments, many of which are late and penalized. I get the response, “uhhhh, why do I have to do anything?” This is a critique, but one in which I do not have an answer. The question that really comes to mind is when did the minimal become acceptable? Why are our younger generations so entitled to the point where anything that isn’t given to them is considered stupid? An attitude adjustment may be in order. With the comparative drive I see here. It is rather frightening, but the Chinese students certainly earn it. 

This is not a raunchy blog, but there is no way it could start with anything but my new best marking story ever. There are always amusing things that emerge during marking. Sometimes it is the blatant attempts at flattery, “Mr. Faber you are the best teacher ever” (These certainly never hurt grades!). Other days it is the amazing attempts at BS to fill in an answer. I can respect that. I have sat through many lengthy written exams and occasionally spelt out some extremely wordy, but prettily dressed up BS. Finally, there are just simply the stupid answers that can make you laugh and die slightly inside. ESL (English Second Language) students are a whole new ball game. Especially when they understand about two thirds of what I say (yes it is English 11). They do not understand slang and they do not get jokes. Simply because what they do know they take literally. Go over a poem with metaphors comparing people to flower and weeds and you read 25 responses that explain how the writer is an ugly weed who lives on his own and the flower are attractive people who are pampered. It definitely made for some lungful glances at my beer-less fridge. It also means that when you are analyzing “Unwritten” a song by Natasha Bedingfield you have some interesting attempts at quotation integration. Our theme has been identity and the students had to write a response explaining what Natasha (may I never hear that song again or there will be no blank pages left before her) thought about Identity. This led to many awful, som okay responses. It also led to the best misquotes of all time and ones that only ESL kids can do. The song says “the penis in my hand” which means… They do not know what penis means haha. This happened in three of my 25 responses and it happened in other classes as well. It was a little awkward explain that a penis in your hand does not mean you are free to control your own future. It probably means you had too much to drink. Or not enough…

            What else is new in China? Well I ate donkey dumplings. They were good. That being said the restaurant, as I have mentioned before, “Donkey Dumplings” is just simply amazing all around. The pineapple sweet and sour pork and the eggplant potato mix is unbeatable. But ya definitely add donkey to the edible list. It is kind of sweet meat with a gamey tinge. I also made a meal and did not poison myself! It tursn out that the more bones meat has here, the more expensive. Well that works for me! A large cut of almost perfect pork tenderloin, probably enough meat for three people, made two meals for me, was 14 Qui, so 2.50. I also learned that nicely marbled and very fresh cut boneless sirloin steaks can be had for about 3-4 dollars a good sized steak. Cannot say I will not take that up. My expiration panic, at least on some things is overblown. Many of the things I am seeing may simply be production dates. That being said I still will have to tread carefully.

            The week had been pretty uneventful. I have settled into a bit of a lunch time gym routine. We have a two hour lunch and when my prep falls before or after I have a three hour break. It gives me plenty of time to head over there. Quanyuan continues to be a gracious host granted being brought stuff, while working out can be awkward. That being said nothing beats random people that stop a foot away from you on the bike and just stare are your legs for 5 minutes. No words. Chinese attempts to run on treadmills are also rather priceless. They won’t let go! It is nice though in a sense as the gym is the one place they are looking at me to learn something rather than looking at me like I am in a zoo, waiting for the next trick to emerge. Or a slip up. That being said I have learned one trick and it is not necessarily one to be proud of, but it helps. Being white I can pretty much do anything. If I walk anywhere with a purpose, people just assume I am allowed and know what I am doing and say nothing. Therefore, at the fancy new facility across the street whenever we or I go alone it simply takes a determined walk in. It works other places as well. I think this principle applies to travelling anywhere in a sense. If you plan/think ahead in advance and are quiet and watchful when you arrive you pick things up and do not cause a scene. Nothing is worse (then one of the teachers who came thankfully just for the summer that everyone now avoids) then those who “American” (stereotype I know) and come in loud and demand to hear English. Like think about it if I Chinese person walked into a restaurant in Duncan BC and started shouting in Mandarin for someone to speak Mandarin would anyone understand. They could be having a baby for all we know. Furthermore, it is slightly different from a travellers perspective, but when you are places you should try not to do things you wouldn’t do on a street at home. Taking a picture Thumbs up. Randomly saying hello to people trying to enjoy a patio dinner in a language they do not understand… not so much. Ironically, it is the Canadians who are with me (not you Ali or Tyler) that cause me the most frustration not the Chinese. We are in China get used to it. Things are not the same. That is mind-blowing information for some (The minds original existence is in question).

            Yesterday, we checked out the new mall/market in Jinshitan. It is impressive and certainly means much of my local shopping needs for groceries can be met. Good bulk section and some solid import foods. There are so many German import things here, much like Costa Rica, it is no wonder their economy is so strong. Canada could learn a few things there no doubt. This mall also had the best sunglasses knock of store of all time Rau balms anyones?

            Finally, I will finish off with a bang, while not really. I had my Chinese medical today! Aliki and I, the other summer school teacher also staying full time, had to get a full medical done by the Chinese government today. In order to enter China you have to apply for and receive an entrance visa. This allows you 60 days in the country, but with some restricted travel in the country and only one entrance into the country during that time. It can be difficult to receive, but once you have it entering the country through security is a breeze. However, to live here you have to apply for a residency permit and get it before the 60 days expires. You will only receive this residency visa with the sponsorship of your employer. Luckily the school has an amazing bilingual Chinese woman named Candy (yes, she looks like a Candy). She takes your passports and all the required paperwork. This is a lot. All of my certification copies and reference letters, immunization records, etc. She takes it to wherever it has to go. I don’t know if I want to know. And starts the process. This also requires you to pass the medical. Therefore, I had to fast this morning and teach my first block. We were then driven in a school car to the clinic. It was the most extensive medical I have ever had, but also in no way scary. Very nice facility. It was clean and the technology is actually ahead of Canada. It was like a mad race to complete the stations. Blood, Urine, Eye, Ultrasound, Chest X-Ray, EKG, Blood Pressure. I was happy to see 116 over 61, but otherwise I will find out Monday if I passed. It is actually possible I could fail. I have had two abnormal EKG’s in the past and have low hemoglobin in my blood naturally, but I am hoping this does not emerge as a problem.

            Well I will be in touch soon! The staff has a trip to Kaifaqu Friday night for a Leg of Lamb restaurant. I am told the lamb is cooked on a spit in the middle of the table!!

Cheers. 

The last few days were highly eventful and certainly have brought forward some interesting tidbits. Firstly, being white makes you practically a celebrity and leads to stares at the least, but constant requests for pictures. Secondly, the concept of expired food being bad really just doesn’t fly. I may have to learn to accept it as half the things I had bought in the past week were expired already (and were for a while). Thirdly, I have pretty much pegged my buying power here to be at least three times of that in Canada. I would say that in order to live an equivalent lifestyle in Canada I would have to earn 140,000 dollars a year.

            I will start with the buying power. I am already getting what I call ‘Prague Syndrome.” I only call it this because that was the first place I experienced getting ridiculously cheap, because you are used to it. For example, last night in an Oktoberfest style tent, at a major international beer festival, 1 litre of beer or 2 pints was about 12 dollars. That is ridiculously expensive in China, but compared to Canada it was normal. Buying groceries is becoming rather amusing. 10 Yuan for oatmeal! No way! That is not even 2 dollars. An expensive meal out is anything over 5 dollars Canadian. The buying power is what makes this fun and scary. My salary is huge by Chinese standards. I mentioned our new friend Quanyuan in my previous post. She is amazing and continues to show us around to a degree that makes us feel bad. She has also introduced us to an app called WeChat, which is like the Chinese Facebook/everything all mixed in one. In China is is not only not rude, but common and expected to ask how old you are and how much money you make in your first conversation. Because of this I have learned more about Quanyuan’s salary and work. She receives a half day off every 4 days and work 12 hours most days. Furthermore, she makes 3k Yuan a month for this. To put this in perspective that is 36,000 Yuan a year, which is approximately 6,500 CAD. That being said this amount of money is enough for you to get by at a lower middle class level of living. It is just weird to see this amount of money in comparison to my own salary in Yuan and how much power that gives you.

            The food expiration dates are awful. I finally found peanut butter at the super market. Every single one in every single brand was expired. Like come on! At this point I started paying more attention to everything and realized that easily 50 percent of the things in the store are expired and not just expired like seriously expired. The one snack I found didn’t even look like beans anymore!

            Now to being a celebrity. On the average day in Jinshitan some people will point and occasionally we will be asked for a picture, but they are pretty used to us. That being said in the school the other day I had random visitors ask me to pose with them in pairs, they did finish by giving me candy. However, at the Dalian International Beer Festival last night it was ridiculous. Almost every person that walks by our table asks to take a photo with one and or all of us. If we were standing in a walkway every person would walk by and ask for a photo. It is fun for a while, but I do not want to know how many profile pictures we are all now in. As Hayley, a teacher who has been here for three years says, it is a great place for self-confidence. This love of us also led to almost everyone trying to drag us off to join there table. This resulted in a rather awesome night and yet awkward. Tyler and I had both had our one litre, as perpetual lightweights and smart drinkers this was the planned end of the line. However, what happens when some nice Chinese people invite you to take a picture and then give you free beers. I was able to nurse through my one beer while visiting my new friends! They would have kept giving us more! It was fun to visit, but hard to leave. We eventually made our way up to the stage to dance a little bit. This is where the celebrity power was even worse and resulted in some boob grabs for a few of the female teachers. It also resulted in some shirt removal. It came down to a choice. Either have our shirts ripped off and never see them again or just take them off. We chose the latter. Chinese women are bold. Terrifying as well. All of that being said they are generally so polite and so happy that it is hard to say no to photos. There are, I have been told, two types of Chinese people. The one will not be mean, but will simply ignore you. The other half are extremely helpful and nice and will do anything they can to help you and be your friend. It makes for a highly pleasant way to go around. It also makes for receiving a lot of super sweaty hugs from strangers.

            The last few days Thursday to Saturday saw three relatively normal days of teaching. My kids are great and earned their first ice cream break. I also had them watch an episode of Scooby-Doo. It was interesting seeing how well they could understand it, but they did not do too bad. Thursday was dinner at my boss, Brad’s place. He is married with two kids and speaks fluent Mandarin as he has lived here a long time. It was a lovely dinner and just what the doctor ordered. We finally made our first trips to the gym on Thursday and Friday. This included Quanyuan delivering coffee to me as I worked out. It was rather hilarious. She also brought Aliki a half of watermelon in the gym as well! Saturday we were just all deadly tired, staff and students, but dragged ourselves through the day, before garnering enough strength to go to the beer festival.

            Finally, a day off! Cheers. 

It has been an eventful two and a half days since my last post Monday. Firstly, according to my mother I need to watch my spelling! Proofreading has value, but so does my limited time at the moment.

            Let’s start with my students. They are pretty awesome. Their English is pretty bad, like Grade 5-6 level, despite being in grade 11, but they still accomplish more than any Canadian student I have taught. The summer course is highly condensed and we have the same kids in the same course all day. Thankfully, we have one prep block out of five. After teaching with no prep the last semester and the two hour lunch, I have a lot of time to stay on top of things. This has once again resulted in some minor irritation amongst my colleagues who do not understand how I have the first two weeks prepped and printed (muhahah). I share. It also helps that I have managed to scavenge a printer in my apartment. This has given me extreme power. Chinese people are extremely conscious of wasting ANYTHING. They put Canadians to shame. They leave no lights on. It is seen as horrible to do so. Most lights are automatic and turn off quickly. Lights are a new thing and are valued highly. In regards to paper this means they are highly controlling. Single sided paper usage is seen as an issue. Teachers are not allowed to photocopy. This is done by one photocopying professional (I beg to differ). It is highly tracked what you copy. It is amazing to note how most Canadians, because China does produce so much pollution. That is only due to their size. Per capita (person) Canadians are the worst polluters in the world. I really deviated from students. They are great. They all individually say bye. I definitely have a fan club. They work so hard. Monday they were given a presentation project for Tuesday. This included a PowerPoint, a written outline, and a web project. They were all done and the presentations went off without a hitch on Tuesday.

            Their names are rather entertaining. Some of my personal favourites in the class. Icing, Desert,  Jone, and Zero. Icing who was named off the phrase “icing on the cake” as a kid. Desert because it was the first word he saw in a dictionary. Jone, simply because he spelt John wrong. Zero, because his Chinese name is weird and he wanted to keep it going in English. Do not worry there is also a Jim, Jack, and Mary. But my favourite is Odin!! Genius kid as well. Even better that he was originally named Butter, but his parents changed it because it wasn’t bad-ass enough. That is paraphrasing what he said, but the meaning was the same. FYI, it was Butter not because of the spread, which is not used here, but because of Bat Te, A famous Chinese basketball player. Another interesting Chinese name fact it that Li is the surname for 7.6 percent of the Chinese population. Think about that. 76 million people.

            They are great kids and they have continued to work hard the past two days. Thankfully, it has remained mild for the summer here, low 30’s, and the class has not been unbearable.

            Now on to the other events of the past days. Monday, I was finally set to cook my own dinner. Lunch and breakfast I had been eating at home. I have and now have more delicious apples from the local market and other fruits and veggies. My Metro run and the local import stores has equipped me with German milk and Corn Flakes, which has allowed me to have fresh fruit in cereal for breakfast. I also found a really nice and light Chinese fibre bar and other seemingly healthy snack food. However, I decided to try and do the main meal at home! I had fresh chicken breast, a local special green pepper that is actually fairly spicy, and local potatoes, which are better tasting here. I made a spicy curry/ketchup stir fry in my wok pan and the hot plate. They do not have stoves in most places in China. Ovens are unheard of. This was done on a hot plate. It looked good, tasted better. Stoked. Bam Tuesday Lunch… can you say I poisoned myself haha. The worst part being I ate the leftovers for lunch meaning I extended my minor agony to this morning. It was not to bad. It did not come on until after lunch and I suffered through class. I did learn that most Chinese public bathrooms do not have Toilet paper. Do not use your imagination. Thank every God I encountered a peculiarity. Tums helped as did soda crackers. Finally, I went out for dinner. Seems like it might be a bad idea, but eating out, if done carefully, can be healthy here and cheaper than cooking at home. We tried a Muslim place we had heard good things about and I am sure that soup/stir fry/thingy I ate is why my foolishly eating the rest of my poison meal was not too bad. Definitely going back there. 15 Yuan (3 dollars). Huge, Delicious. Thin sliced beef, tomatoes, peppers, eggplant, onion, mushrooms, like naan ish bread in the soup, and rice noodles. Could you find a better upset stomach food?

            I woke up today feeling funny and definitely feeling the after effects, but definitely on the road to recovery. Teaching was highlighted by showing the students the I AM Canadian commercial where the beaver is used to sick a pompous American. We are discussing identity. They do not know what beavers are, but who cannot laugh at that. They consider chop sticks, Spring festival, mooncakes, dumplings, and fireworks to be the biggest Chinese stereotypes. They also informed me that there are 56 different regionally ethnicities in China. They really do not understand the concept of organizing a binder, it is rather weird.

            For lunch I discovered that it may be worth my while to at least occasionally eat lunch at the campus cafeteria. It is 6 Yuan, like 1.50 for an all you can eat lunch. Apparently, according to my new friend Tyler, it was gross last year causing me to avoid it. However, I investigated yesterday (wish I had instead of swallowing more home cooked poison) and then learned they changed caterers. It was delicious a nice mix of dishes and some quite healthy. Interesting food notes on China. You will not find bread as we see it hear. They do not bake things. What they can bread is usually steamed. What “bread” they do bake is almost always sweet. They use beans to sweeten and it is quite good, if you are not looking to make a hardy sandwich. I did managed to find a nice 6 Yuan loaf of bread that looked somewhat whole wheat. I sautéed up red peppers and used some local eggs I had hard boiled to make baked open faced sandwiches for dinner. I have purchased, from a departing staff member of five years a mini oven!! I was able to give her the last 50 dollars Canadian I had. I can now do some small baking in this thing. So happy. I discovered that the bread is nice because it required no sauce I just spread the hardboiled eggs on it and put the peppers on top before baking. The natural sweetness of the bread almost made it taste like there was butter on it. I did discover the likely source of my food poisoning. Expired Ketchup! Well I should have checked that label when it was 5 Yuan for two Hunt’s ketchup. I also should have just avoided making currywurst style stir fry.

            One other interesting note on Chinese culture. Being super white or pale is a big deal. Most of their skin products have natural whitener in it. As someone who is already white and likes a tan, I have to avoid most skin products. Whitney Williams would be a goddess here with her lovely skin and complexion. They would also admire her hair. Granted, Whitney could be considered a goddess almost anywhere with that combination of looks and personality.

            Finally, I will discuss the title of this entry. If you are reading this far please comment on here or Facebook. I am curious to see who sticks through the drivel. I will not stop, but always nice to know who is reading along.

            I have yet to find a gym. I have been searching! I was told this elusive new facility was opening up next door “soon.” We would get free passes. One of my bosses today mentioned he went over there, there is a gym, you will get free passes, go! After my office hours Tyler and I slipped over to check it out and Aliki, another one who is staying long term, joined us shortly after. This new facility, due to a construction whole in the school complexes back wall is a 200 meter walk away. It is amazing. Like Chinese Disneyland. It is a mini mall complex, like super market and little shops. These are simply meant to be an entrance point for a giant apartment complex (all built in 8 months). Tyler and I walked in. We tried to ask about the gym. They somehow thought we meant the circus and were rushing us to catch the 5 pm show (It was 5:05). We finally through violent working out gestures showed them what we wanted. It was at this point Aliki joined us and we met one of the many tour guides for the place. Her name is Quanyuan. We proceeded to be given the VIP your and given the free tickets for everything. 40 passes to their small, but serviceable hotel style gym. There is a billiard room, ping pong, two pools in and out. All free for quite a while based on the passes. We will be going to the circus tomorrow. Tiger and Monkey! Why not? Aliki and Tyler were jazzed about the endless free coffee (hard to get here, Ikea is your only option). Quanyuan was nice and appeared to want to be our friends. She gave us her number and told us to call her if we come back. It was funny she laughed at Tyler when he said he was 24, but shock my hand because I am 25 and so is she. The other two immediately deemed her my Chinese wife. This thought was only reinforced later when she called my eyes beautiful and literally in broken English (I am not sure she realized how blunt it was) said she would marry me for that.

            The tour went next to these new apartments! All told it would last 45 minutes. I want the smallest apartment. It is brand new and spectacular. It even has, a Chinese rarity, a real stove top and dishwasher. This spectacular 75 square meter, two bedroom place will definitely not cost more than 500 dollars a month furnished and is beyond anything I could afford in Canada. It would easily be 1500 in Victoria. I may have to try it!

            Well this is very long and we are now up to date!

Real Chinese food is amazing. I had basically stopped eating the sad Canadian attempts at it and now will never go back. Definitely one of the highlights of what is now my fourth day in Jinshitan and settling in. I will try and focus on a few key aspects today that I think are fun and funny.

            Chinese driving is hilariously insane and yet even after a few days the sense of it starts to appear. Having one hand on the horn is a priority at all times! Starting with the drive from the airport, if you do not hear a honk basically every few seconds something is wrong. Shockingly so few accident! Less than Canada I am told. I guess this relates to the highly offensive driving. Kill or be killed. As a pedestrian you have no rights. There are crosswalks, but no one will stop. You cross anywhere and always look both ways. Lane to lane is the way to go! This can also include being nearly run over in pedestrian walkways. Chinese people will also just park wherever they feel and we have seen several people just randomly pull over and get up to do whatever. Our Chinese driver on the way back from the airport pulled over on the highway and went into his bank. Love it.

            What have I been doing! Well Friday we arrived and were greeted by Kelli! She is a super high energy teacher with Maple Leaf who has simply made the start so easy. It began by her showing each of us to our various apartments despite the Typhoon rain and wind Friday. My apartment is on the fourth floor and is a nice little one bedroom place. Shower is way too short! Tap water should not be drunken copiously or at all really. That being said rinsing, washing, etc. it is fine. Chinese people do not have stoves usually, which will be an adjustment. I have bought a full size toaster over I will put to use and we are equipped with a hotplate for our stove top cooking necessities. After introducing us to our apartment Kelli took us to watch she dubbed the “Maple Leaf Store.” This was basically a collection of stuff from departing teachers to help new teachers. This “shop” ended up saving me boatloads of time and money at Ikea. I found numerous basic household items and after Saturdays trip to Ikea and Metro my apartment is still Spartan, but all I need. We unpacked and settled in, very quickly, before walking in Jinshitan to our first Chinese dinner. The place is called something… no one really knows. Maple Leaf teachers call it donkey dumplings as that is the feature dish. It is a family run, hole in the wall style place. However, it was amazing and there is a reason it is frequented by staff. I hated eggplant in Canada. Three days in China and it may be my favourite vegetable. Also Chinese beer is only 2.5 percent. Anyone can be a heavy weight here! It should be noted that I will try the donkey dumplings eventually! The variety of meat is quite good. The problem with eating, for me, is it is all smorgasbord, which has resulted in three dinner of blissful stuffing of my stomach.

            Saturday we did the local market in the morning and were toured around Jinshitan. No one speaks English, lots of people stare, and the Chinese people here are tall. I do not stand out any more than normal in terms of height. We then to the Ching way to Dalian. This is the slower version of trains in China. The high speed ones go over 300 km/h. Trying to get on this train is like being stuffed in a can. It is rather ridiculous, you basically should just sit back as people just ram onto the train before letting people off so they can maybe get the seats. Coming back was even more hilarious because it was the last train. The savagery getting on was comical! It was even better when we arrived in Jinshitan. It is the end of the line and the people waiting to get on were trying to get on the last train back to Dalian, We sat back and watched as people basically knocked over the people getting on the train. We still did not leave unscratched. One guy literally jumped over my bags to grab a vacated seat. This was the return trip from Ikea and Metro. I ended up buying most of my household needs for about 450 Yuan or 90 dollars. It was quite an impressive and cheap hall. My 1.50 pillow is a particular steal.

            This is where we hit the first real hitch/irritation of my trip. Firstly, we probably should have just grabbed a taxi as the six of us were loaded with stuff and it would have cost 120 Yuan (30 bucks) split six ways for the 45 minute cab. Instead we went on the Ching way. This involved carrying all they bags onto the stuffed train. When we arrived in Jinshitan. We are about a 2 km walk from the station to home. This under normal circumstances is nothing. However, being weighed down it would be rather silly to walk. However, on principle our guide refused to accept a 10 Yuan (2 dollar) cab ride split 5 ways. I would of paid it myself. The only realy issue here was it was 9 pm and we had not eaten a meal since lunch. Hangry in full and awful affect. We did eventually have an amazing dinner at the street barbeques. Every night there are numerous street barbeques. They are delicious and we feasted yet again.

            Sunday was a preparation day! I printed off my weekly materials and joined another teacher in creating copies for all the English 11 staff. We then had a staff meeting and prepped for the students. The first meeting with the students was hilarious. They introduced all the teachers and had us stand up and wave. I received a notable whoosh and squeal from the girls, which has led people to determine that I have a fan club. I will take every advantage I can get, but apparently Chinese girls are bold so I should watch my back. Today, I was only given a sucker by a random girl. Sunday finished with a feast at another random restaurant!

            I will update more about day one of teaching later!